one fine afernoon, i asked my friend, "what is time ? define time"...
she wondered, "why?"
i said, "just do it"
she was left thinking for a while... and then came, "one moment to another, is time."
simple ... wasn't it ?
one moment to another. a mensurable metric. a scale was taken for granted, two points were marked on it, and the distance between was marked as the timespan. end of story.
but, is it that simple ? think again. so many things depend on time. its a basic unit, with mass, length and temperature. there are only four basic entities... everything else, is derived. speed, force, pressure, energy... everything!!!
okay, set apart schoolbook science. lets take a peek into the real world.why do we have to measure time ? why does everyone have to follow the same scale ? have u ever wondered that there are different units for length, mass and temperature, but the entire world follows the same unit for time.theres foot and meter for length. theres pound and gram for mass. theres centigrade and fahrenheit for temperature... but, theres only SECOND for time, everywhere!!! why all of us have agreed to bind ourselves to a timeframe ? why at all do we need to measure time ? we cannot hold time. we cannot alter it, stretch it or shrink it, cut it, touch it, add it, subtract it, compare it.... then why do we need to measure it ? we cannot undo or redo.... create or erase time.
i am pretty confused. i myself do not know how to put what i am thinking of. i cant quantify my perception of time. its not something that you can see, or show. we invented the clock to crystallise the measurement of time. but, clock again, doesnt measure time directly. its just a device with a constant rotational velocity, and the angular distance travelled by it gives an indication of time. for quartz watches, it depends on crystals with fixed oscillation frequency and the number of oscillations done under a particular voltage gives an indication of time.
we CAN NOT measure time directly.
in fact, we cant even measure length and time directly. length is measured by comparing the object in concern to a predefined object like the ruler, or the measuring tape. mass is measured by comparing it with some standard object like the iron weights. in free space, we can measure nothing.
what exactly am i talking about ??
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
i m m a t e r i a l
what do i want ?
let me tell you again...
and this time, the fancy has no bounds.
let me tell you again...
and this time, the fancy has no bounds.
- force : I want to have a control on the forces. Most importantly, the gravitational force. I want to take control of the momentum of all tangible objects without touching them. I want to be able to exert force on the matter and on myself. In short, "remote control"... crazy.. isnt in ? Must be the effect of too many sci-fi movies.
- energry : I want to be able to absorb, or dissipate any form of enery around me. And, to convert any form of energy to any other, at my convenience.
- morph : That is to say, the feature of my existence. The ME that I am, the basic thing should, however, remain same. I dont really want to alter the properties of the matter that constitutes my physical being... but, I want this matter to change, into some form of energy, if needed. Mass-Energy conversion ? May be thats what I'm talking about... "dematerialization". Say, for example, I want to pass through the walls. Now, we all know the matter is mostly void. there are huuuuuge empty spaces between atoms and even within atoms. So much so, that other atoms can pass through, if they have resonant bond energies. In short, I want myself to be convertible to some form of energy which is permeable through any matter, and regain the material form once I'm through. Vice the Versa, matter should be permeable through me, if needed. The higher level application of this wish is "teleportation".
- thought : Our mind radiates energy which we can use to communicate. This hasn't been proved, but I want to exploit this possibility. The so called "thought waves", or the "telepathy"... I wish I can improvise on that.
- (any hollywood producer reading this ? i guess i've given u enuff ideas for the next superhero blockbuster.. ha ha !!... this list is not concluded yet... keep watching)....
Sunday, April 23, 2006
m a t e r i a l
what do i want ?
i had jotted down the necessities in my life in a blog sometime back...
but this time, the list is more fanciful than being limited to mere necessities.
it might look like an useless blog...
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.
.
.
of course, it will look like an useless blog.. it IS an useless blog :))
anyways, no more kidding, let me just jot down the stuff.
PS: please don't blame me, if I sound toooooo selfish :D
i had jotted down the necessities in my life in a blog sometime back...
but this time, the list is more fanciful than being limited to mere necessities.
it might look like an useless blog...
.
.
.
.
.
of course, it will look like an useless blog.. it IS an useless blog :))
anyways, no more kidding, let me just jot down the stuff.
PS: please don't blame me, if I sound toooooo selfish :D
- residence: A studio apartment... with xxxtra large windows. This comes with quite a number of IF's and BUT's... let me specify. If in a city, this apartment should be in a very tall building, overlooking a wide network of roads, or beside a river, or a seashore (this reminds me of mumbai esp). I'd have liked greens around my dwelling, but that'd push me to suburbs where it wouldn't be in a tall building but right on the ground, engulfed by wide lawns on all sides, and streets beyond lawns on any two sides.
- transport: As long as I am single, I'd prefer a bike. A two wheeler, yes. How about a Ducati ? ha ha... just kidding !!!
- entertainment: A very powerful Desktop (and i mean VERY powerful, def Dual Core), with as many accessories as you can think of (Dolby Sound card, Nvidea Gfx card, TV-Tuner card etc)... and an OHP (no, I'm not satisfied with monitors)... and a recriprocating sound system. I want to buy a good synth some day.
- food: A BIG fridge (don't ask me how big, haven't decided yet)... something that'll cater to my needs, but I'm a bit foggy about this, as I don't know my needs yet. I'll be more specific once I have the money to buy :)) ... In addition to the fridge, I want neat and up-to-date kitchen appliances (I have no idea about, coz I don't cook.. but I WANT to), and "whatever" is "necessary" (once again, I'll be more specific when I learn to cook :D)
- dress: No... I am not very particular about this. I dont want anything superfancy, or of expensive brands. Anything casual will do. Simple kurtas, t-shirts, jeans, pajamas n stuff.. anything that I'm comfortable in, but doesn't look shabby. I seriously want to stay away from designer gorgeous stuff.
- furniture: A chair.... adjustible in every possible way you can think of, fitted with rollers of course. No bed, but a huge mattress on the floor.... big enuff to hold 3-4 times myself (dont worry, I am gonna sleep alone in that, at least till.... u know :D). I don't want my apartment cluttered with funiture... no tables except the one supporting my Desktop comp, and no chair other than the one in front of the comp table. No sofas, no couches... all will be replaced by mattresses of different shapes n sizes on the floor. The floor has to be spotless clean (leave your shoes outside). There might be an almirah and some wallracks (bare minimum, just enuff to hold all that i can't place on the floor). And there has to be a big mirror (6" tall by 8" wide, covering a big part of a wall).
- sports: SWIMMING POOL !!! Nothing could be better. Not my personal pool (the maintenance will hurt), but a big one in some nearby club, with no time constraints :))
- (to be continued)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
atheist
i just believe in god.
rather, in goodness. not a deity, or something like that. though i have nothing against any deity or any form of rituals or anything, and i pay my share of respect to all the gods and cults.
but, honestly, god is nothing but goodwill. its just us... a force within us, the conscience. if we cud follow our conscience and stick to our principles, we woudnt need religions, we wouldnt need prayers.
worshipping is nothing but an act invented by some intelligent ppl to tell the common man to believe in the good.
prayer, is again nothing, but an act that strengthens the willpower, invokes hope, and tells us to move on, coz theres light at the end of the tunnel
the common man is vulnerable, he is afraid. he needs a belief that if something goes wrong, someone will take care of it. thats why the concept of God was invented.. to help him identify his inner strength. that feeling, "chalo, humein jo karna hai, wo karte to hain,... aage bhagwaan bharose".. its actually not bhagwaan bharose, its his own self bharose. if he were afraid to take the step, he'll never reach his goal, but now that he has taken the step, he'll do whatever is necessary to succeed. we often are diffident, and dont dare enough. this is where the concept of god helps.
but, man learns by two methods, reward and punishment. God.. was also invented to invoke the fear of punishment. to stop ppl from doing evil. if ppl listen to their conscience, they'll never do evil, and hence no need for fearing God. but ppl dont have the insight. they do what they shouldnt, KNOWING that they shouldnt be doing it. its then, that the fear of god comes into play. god was declared omnipresent, omnipotent, to suggest the common man that his wrong doing can never be hidden, that he cannot escape his guilt... theres someone watching you, always. so better not commit anything wrong.
you adopted Krishna in ur mind. but He has nothing to teach you. its already there within you, He is just showing it to you. she adopted Durga. she derives her powers from her belief in the deity, the power that she already has.
God is not an external source. its within us.
WE are our gods. Our principles, the inner voice, our faith is our God.
rather, in goodness. not a deity, or something like that. though i have nothing against any deity or any form of rituals or anything, and i pay my share of respect to all the gods and cults.
but, honestly, god is nothing but goodwill. its just us... a force within us, the conscience. if we cud follow our conscience and stick to our principles, we woudnt need religions, we wouldnt need prayers.
worshipping is nothing but an act invented by some intelligent ppl to tell the common man to believe in the good.
prayer, is again nothing, but an act that strengthens the willpower, invokes hope, and tells us to move on, coz theres light at the end of the tunnel
the common man is vulnerable, he is afraid. he needs a belief that if something goes wrong, someone will take care of it. thats why the concept of God was invented.. to help him identify his inner strength. that feeling, "chalo, humein jo karna hai, wo karte to hain,... aage bhagwaan bharose".. its actually not bhagwaan bharose, its his own self bharose. if he were afraid to take the step, he'll never reach his goal, but now that he has taken the step, he'll do whatever is necessary to succeed. we often are diffident, and dont dare enough. this is where the concept of god helps.
but, man learns by two methods, reward and punishment. God.. was also invented to invoke the fear of punishment. to stop ppl from doing evil. if ppl listen to their conscience, they'll never do evil, and hence no need for fearing God. but ppl dont have the insight. they do what they shouldnt, KNOWING that they shouldnt be doing it. its then, that the fear of god comes into play. god was declared omnipresent, omnipotent, to suggest the common man that his wrong doing can never be hidden, that he cannot escape his guilt... theres someone watching you, always. so better not commit anything wrong.
you adopted Krishna in ur mind. but He has nothing to teach you. its already there within you, He is just showing it to you. she adopted Durga. she derives her powers from her belief in the deity, the power that she already has.
God is not an external source. its within us.
WE are our gods. Our principles, the inner voice, our faith is our God.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
(Why) not writing a blog
kyonki sunne waalon ki kami nahi hai....
i am blessed with a company of all possible colours.
when i am happy, i have lads i can bang into whose room and we can shriek at the top of our voices to exclaim.
when i am sad, i have pals who would just be there, and their silent nod and a soft thud on my back would take all my pain away.
when i rise, i have mates who would give me wings to brave the wind.
when i fall, i will still have an angel wrap me up and keep me warm.
when theres noise inside that i wanna blurt out...
when theres a loud laughter thats waiting to burst out...
when its a moment of peace, or a moment of unrest,
whether i am tired, drowsy, and drenched with my loneliness, or up n running, cutting my way through the rocks...
whether in flights of fantasy, or shackals in dungeon,
i have always had friends, who would lend me an ear...
a hand that would touch my shoulder and wipe my tear.
no one's a stranger, i never ran out of friends...
may be thats where my need for a blog ends.
i am blessed with a company of all possible colours.
when i am happy, i have lads i can bang into whose room and we can shriek at the top of our voices to exclaim.
when i am sad, i have pals who would just be there, and their silent nod and a soft thud on my back would take all my pain away.
when i rise, i have mates who would give me wings to brave the wind.
when i fall, i will still have an angel wrap me up and keep me warm.
when theres noise inside that i wanna blurt out...
when theres a loud laughter thats waiting to burst out...
when its a moment of peace, or a moment of unrest,
whether i am tired, drowsy, and drenched with my loneliness, or up n running, cutting my way through the rocks...
whether in flights of fantasy, or shackals in dungeon,
i have always had friends, who would lend me an ear...
a hand that would touch my shoulder and wipe my tear.
no one's a stranger, i never ran out of friends...
may be thats where my need for a blog ends.
not writing a blog
do what you think and say what you feel, coz those who mind, dont matter and those who matter, dont mind....
since time immemorial we have been craving for freedom of expression.
each one of us has something to say, needs someone who wud listen.. and just listen without being judgemental, without imposing an opinion.
theres a sigh that we'd like to heave, a tear that we'd like to drop. a hurt that wouldnt heal, but we'd like to reveal it to someone, with an expectation that the pain would be numbed, even if for a little while, by the useless but sympathetic words of a friend.
if we read a joke in the middle of a lonely highway, we'd like to rush to the nearest town to find someone to share it with and have a good laugh. even our prized possessions that we wudnt wanna share with anyone, we'd like to show it to people and feel proud about it.
be it grief or ecstasy... humor or vanity... shame or victory... we need someone to share with.
but not all of us lucky enough to find this "someone" to talk to.
a patient listener, an understanding ear is a rare treasure. and though we all look for someone to talk to, we cant just talk to anyone... and nor do we want our words to fall on wrong ears.
but we want a way out... so we revert to conversations with strangers... ppl who wud listen, and might comment, might misinterprete our notions... but without serious consequences.
if they give a damn to what we have to say, fine. if not, we dont have to worry about what they say in turn. perhaps this gave rise to "blogs".
but i have my reasosn for not writing a blog...
its time for you to guess why i WOULDNT write a blog.
i'll let you know.... soon.
till then.. keep guessing
(its an obvious reason, the MOST obvious one, its just the opposite of the reason for writing a blog).
since time immemorial we have been craving for freedom of expression.
each one of us has something to say, needs someone who wud listen.. and just listen without being judgemental, without imposing an opinion.
theres a sigh that we'd like to heave, a tear that we'd like to drop. a hurt that wouldnt heal, but we'd like to reveal it to someone, with an expectation that the pain would be numbed, even if for a little while, by the useless but sympathetic words of a friend.
if we read a joke in the middle of a lonely highway, we'd like to rush to the nearest town to find someone to share it with and have a good laugh. even our prized possessions that we wudnt wanna share with anyone, we'd like to show it to people and feel proud about it.
be it grief or ecstasy... humor or vanity... shame or victory... we need someone to share with.
but not all of us lucky enough to find this "someone" to talk to.
a patient listener, an understanding ear is a rare treasure. and though we all look for someone to talk to, we cant just talk to anyone... and nor do we want our words to fall on wrong ears.
but we want a way out... so we revert to conversations with strangers... ppl who wud listen, and might comment, might misinterprete our notions... but without serious consequences.
if they give a damn to what we have to say, fine. if not, we dont have to worry about what they say in turn. perhaps this gave rise to "blogs".
but i have my reasosn for not writing a blog...
its time for you to guess why i WOULDNT write a blog.
i'll let you know.... soon.
till then.. keep guessing
(its an obvious reason, the MOST obvious one, its just the opposite of the reason for writing a blog).
Monday, March 20, 2006
there are angels on this earth... there sure are
this is what an angel told me today...
if i could hug you.......i would
if i could love you ...i already do
if i could thank you....words are not enough
if i could pray for you.....i need not for i know HE gives you the best
if i could give you.......would give you anything you ask for
for now.......i am in tears...
tears of gratitude and love ...tears of joy and sunshine
tears.....that are pearls...for they flow for you....you....who has made my life fragrant just by being there........
may the peace and joy i experience by the mere thought of your being..............also be graced on you manifold by the lovely souls who touch u now and always......
lost in peace and oneness of our beings
YOU or ME
thank you ritu didi...
if i could thank you... words are not enough !!!
if i could hug you.......i would
if i could love you ...i already do
if i could thank you....words are not enough
if i could pray for you.....i need not for i know HE gives you the best
if i could give you.......would give you anything you ask for
for now.......i am in tears...
tears of gratitude and love ...tears of joy and sunshine
tears.....that are pearls...for they flow for you....you....who has made my life fragrant just by being there........
may the peace and joy i experience by the mere thought of your being..............also be graced on you manifold by the lovely souls who touch u now and always......
lost in peace and oneness of our beings
YOU or ME
thank you ritu didi...
if i could thank you... words are not enough !!!
Monday, March 06, 2006
on proving grounds
its good to quarrel sometimes....
#1. it shows your ability to handle yourself.
#2. it shows the other persons ability to handle you.
#3. and finally when you make up, IF you do, it shows the depth of the relation.
you SHOULD fight with your loved ones once in a while...
but never forget to patch up.
its a test of time. if you fail to patch up, you have lost the test.
#1. it shows your ability to handle yourself.
#2. it shows the other persons ability to handle you.
#3. and finally when you make up, IF you do, it shows the depth of the relation.
you SHOULD fight with your loved ones once in a while...
but never forget to patch up.
its a test of time. if you fail to patch up, you have lost the test.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
negative
bura mat kaho, bura mat suno, bura mat dekho....
naah... doesnt sound good enough. makes me feel like an ostrich that burries its head in the sand during the storm, and feels safe, coz it cant see the storm. but the damage is done.
i am too little to challenge the principles of the great man. there must be some truth which i fail to see in the line i quoted... but, as of now, i have enough reasons to contradict.
bura mat kaho
yeah, agreed. theres no pleasure in foulmouthing. a voluptuous slang doesnt establish your dominance, it proves the weakness of your logic that you are trying to hide by creating an agitation, a distraction. it proves your disappointment and your disgust, thereby exposing ur vulnerability to your opponent, giving him the chance to exploit ur tension thru the subsequent mistakes that you wud be making.
apart from this materialistic arguement, we also know a sweet tongue can often get a job done much faster than a threatening. courtsey has its own value... and none of us would like to deny.
BUT... theres a limit to docility. pursuit for peace shouldnt render you meek. there will be times when raising your voice becomes an absolute necessity. there are times when you need to call a spade a spade. to retain your calm is a virtue, but not at the cost of your dignity.
tum hamari chotiyon ki barf ko yun mat kuredo..
dehekta lava hriday mein hai, ki hum jwalamukhi hain.
and hence, there are times when we need to spit fire.
bura mat suno
now THAT is what i would call escapism. what are you afraid of ?
if there are bad things being said, LISTEN to it... for two reasons.
#1. those things might not be true. you would learn to distinguish between truth and rumor. and once u discover that those things werent true, you would know that the speaker was lying. in the process, you have discovered a man whose words you shudnt believe just like that.
#2. those things might be true. the world is an imperfect one, and theres danger everywhere. and when something bad is being said, it will serve as a warning (if the things being said are true). its an important information. you'd know where to be careful. in the process, u will discover a man who will equip you with correct apprehensions.
BUT... please note, that i am asking you to listen to what is being said, and not believe it immediately. dont pollute yourself with all the shit thats poured into your ears. before you can actually reap the benefit of listening to such a thing, you should have developed enough integrity in yourself to be unaffected by it.
achchha suno.. it will teach you what to do.
bura bhi suno... it will teach you what NOT to do, and THAT isnt any less important.
bura mat dekho
you seriously believe ignorance is bliss ? you must be an ostrich then :)
prepare yourself to face the evil. dont run from it. you can never run far enough.
better face it, fight it. thats the only way you can overcome it.
_____________________
enough preaching against the old man's saying. i have more often than not been a disbeliever in him.
but, let me tell you something. i hated his ahimsa principle, and i was able to put forth similar sincere arguements to prove him wrong. but one day a frnd casually uttered... "a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye,.. and the whole world would be blind some day".
vengeance isnt a solution. i now believe it. if the damage is done, spend ur energy in reparing it, rather than causing more damage.
so, even though i wrote a lot against the three monkeys, i am still searching for a deeper meaning, which will tell me that the old man was right.
and i fear that someday i'll discover the more profound side of his saying, and will be ahamed of all what i wrote now, out of incomplete experience, out of lack of farsight.
if you have discovered, enlighten me, please.
naah... doesnt sound good enough. makes me feel like an ostrich that burries its head in the sand during the storm, and feels safe, coz it cant see the storm. but the damage is done.
i am too little to challenge the principles of the great man. there must be some truth which i fail to see in the line i quoted... but, as of now, i have enough reasons to contradict.
bura mat kaho
yeah, agreed. theres no pleasure in foulmouthing. a voluptuous slang doesnt establish your dominance, it proves the weakness of your logic that you are trying to hide by creating an agitation, a distraction. it proves your disappointment and your disgust, thereby exposing ur vulnerability to your opponent, giving him the chance to exploit ur tension thru the subsequent mistakes that you wud be making.
apart from this materialistic arguement, we also know a sweet tongue can often get a job done much faster than a threatening. courtsey has its own value... and none of us would like to deny.
BUT... theres a limit to docility. pursuit for peace shouldnt render you meek. there will be times when raising your voice becomes an absolute necessity. there are times when you need to call a spade a spade. to retain your calm is a virtue, but not at the cost of your dignity.
tum hamari chotiyon ki barf ko yun mat kuredo..
dehekta lava hriday mein hai, ki hum jwalamukhi hain.
and hence, there are times when we need to spit fire.
bura mat suno
now THAT is what i would call escapism. what are you afraid of ?
if there are bad things being said, LISTEN to it... for two reasons.
#1. those things might not be true. you would learn to distinguish between truth and rumor. and once u discover that those things werent true, you would know that the speaker was lying. in the process, you have discovered a man whose words you shudnt believe just like that.
#2. those things might be true. the world is an imperfect one, and theres danger everywhere. and when something bad is being said, it will serve as a warning (if the things being said are true). its an important information. you'd know where to be careful. in the process, u will discover a man who will equip you with correct apprehensions.
BUT... please note, that i am asking you to listen to what is being said, and not believe it immediately. dont pollute yourself with all the shit thats poured into your ears. before you can actually reap the benefit of listening to such a thing, you should have developed enough integrity in yourself to be unaffected by it.
achchha suno.. it will teach you what to do.
bura bhi suno... it will teach you what NOT to do, and THAT isnt any less important.
bura mat dekho
you seriously believe ignorance is bliss ? you must be an ostrich then :)
prepare yourself to face the evil. dont run from it. you can never run far enough.
better face it, fight it. thats the only way you can overcome it.
_____________________
enough preaching against the old man's saying. i have more often than not been a disbeliever in him.
but, let me tell you something. i hated his ahimsa principle, and i was able to put forth similar sincere arguements to prove him wrong. but one day a frnd casually uttered... "a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye,.. and the whole world would be blind some day".
vengeance isnt a solution. i now believe it. if the damage is done, spend ur energy in reparing it, rather than causing more damage.
so, even though i wrote a lot against the three monkeys, i am still searching for a deeper meaning, which will tell me that the old man was right.
and i fear that someday i'll discover the more profound side of his saying, and will be ahamed of all what i wrote now, out of incomplete experience, out of lack of farsight.
if you have discovered, enlighten me, please.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
confessions of a sleepless mind
change is the only constant thing. very rightly said so.
it definitely is the spice of life.. without it life would be so useless... meaningless. there wouldnt be anything we can look up to. we would be trapped in stagnation, and the constancy would be so mechanical and stale that it would suffocate us to death.
but, there are times, when we prefer to retain things just the way we acquired it. though thats never possible. its not always that a change, in what we have, is going to be for worse. sometimes, it's for better.... but when something changes about a thing (or being) which (or who) has been so precious for us, we tend to be afraid... the fear of losing the feel, the belongsingness.
we get associated... attached.
sometimes in a way, that we know would not last forever.
in a way, that is ought to change.
and when we started the attachment, we were very much aware that it would change, sooner or later. but still, when the moment comes closer, our fear takes over. we look back at all the moments we have had the old way, and we wish that could go on forever. we hopelessly try to cling to it.
notwithstanding all our mundane efforts, the inevitable happens. things change. if for better, we breathe reliefe. if for worse, we find things slipping out of our fingers, and our efforts are as much in vain as in trying to get a grip on water which slips out of our fist, no matter how hard we grasp. in fact, the harder we try to grasp, the more it slips out. leaves us with a wet palm.. wet with saline water, with uncountable memories dissolved in it, as whole or fragments.
then we hear promises coming.
we may hear ourselves making promises to ourselves, in a way of fake consolation, that life must move on.
or we hear someone else making promises to us, telling us not to worry. coz its just a little change, it isnt going to affect much, and the essence will remain the same.
but it doesnt. the essense doesnt remain the same. change breeds change.. and further changes clutter our precious. and our precious eventually gets lost in a crowd of unfamiliarity. we look here n there like a dumb, sometimes shout out to ourselves. we cry... for something is now missing... something that we so dearly wanted forever. we fumble in quicksand for something that we saw slipping down to obscurity, but could do nothing to stop it from getting out of sight.
we lose. change wins.
we change.
and then a new day comes. and more such days. we forget the precious, at least apparently, till one day when we are hit by a news, that the precious is no more.
that we've lost it forever.
it hardly makes any practical difference. we had lost it the very day it went out of sight forever. but deep down, there was a hope somewhere, that we might set things back, and we might regain things the way they were before. and this day, we lose the last hope.
the precious is lost. its okay now. i dont have to worry about getting it back anymore.
i'm not gonna get it back again.
never.
(unless, we die to live another day)
it definitely is the spice of life.. without it life would be so useless... meaningless. there wouldnt be anything we can look up to. we would be trapped in stagnation, and the constancy would be so mechanical and stale that it would suffocate us to death.
but, there are times, when we prefer to retain things just the way we acquired it. though thats never possible. its not always that a change, in what we have, is going to be for worse. sometimes, it's for better.... but when something changes about a thing (or being) which (or who) has been so precious for us, we tend to be afraid... the fear of losing the feel, the belongsingness.
we get associated... attached.
sometimes in a way, that we know would not last forever.
in a way, that is ought to change.
and when we started the attachment, we were very much aware that it would change, sooner or later. but still, when the moment comes closer, our fear takes over. we look back at all the moments we have had the old way, and we wish that could go on forever. we hopelessly try to cling to it.
notwithstanding all our mundane efforts, the inevitable happens. things change. if for better, we breathe reliefe. if for worse, we find things slipping out of our fingers, and our efforts are as much in vain as in trying to get a grip on water which slips out of our fist, no matter how hard we grasp. in fact, the harder we try to grasp, the more it slips out. leaves us with a wet palm.. wet with saline water, with uncountable memories dissolved in it, as whole or fragments.
then we hear promises coming.
we may hear ourselves making promises to ourselves, in a way of fake consolation, that life must move on.
or we hear someone else making promises to us, telling us not to worry. coz its just a little change, it isnt going to affect much, and the essence will remain the same.
but it doesnt. the essense doesnt remain the same. change breeds change.. and further changes clutter our precious. and our precious eventually gets lost in a crowd of unfamiliarity. we look here n there like a dumb, sometimes shout out to ourselves. we cry... for something is now missing... something that we so dearly wanted forever. we fumble in quicksand for something that we saw slipping down to obscurity, but could do nothing to stop it from getting out of sight.
we lose. change wins.
we change.
and then a new day comes. and more such days. we forget the precious, at least apparently, till one day when we are hit by a news, that the precious is no more.
that we've lost it forever.
it hardly makes any practical difference. we had lost it the very day it went out of sight forever. but deep down, there was a hope somewhere, that we might set things back, and we might regain things the way they were before. and this day, we lose the last hope.
the precious is lost. its okay now. i dont have to worry about getting it back anymore.
i'm not gonna get it back again.
never.
(unless, we die to live another day)
[dedicated to a precious friend who is going far away, sooner than i expected]
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