it definitely is the spice of life.. without it life would be so useless... meaningless. there wouldnt be anything we can look up to. we would be trapped in stagnation, and the constancy would be so mechanical and stale that it would suffocate us to death.
but, there are times, when we prefer to retain things just the way we acquired it. though thats never possible. its not always that a change, in what we have, is going to be for worse. sometimes, it's for better.... but when something changes about a thing (or being) which (or who) has been so precious for us, we tend to be afraid... the fear of losing the feel, the belongsingness.
we get associated... attached.
sometimes in a way, that we know would not last forever.
in a way, that is ought to change.
and when we started the attachment, we were very much aware that it would change, sooner or later. but still, when the moment comes closer, our fear takes over. we look back at all the moments we have had the old way, and we wish that could go on forever. we hopelessly try to cling to it.
notwithstanding all our mundane efforts, the inevitable happens. things change. if for better, we breathe reliefe. if for worse, we find things slipping out of our fingers, and our efforts are as much in vain as in trying to get a grip on water which slips out of our fist, no matter how hard we grasp. in fact, the harder we try to grasp, the more it slips out. leaves us with a wet palm.. wet with saline water, with uncountable memories dissolved in it, as whole or fragments.
then we hear promises coming.
we may hear ourselves making promises to ourselves, in a way of fake consolation, that life must move on.
or we hear someone else making promises to us, telling us not to worry. coz its just a little change, it isnt going to affect much, and the essence will remain the same.
but it doesnt. the essense doesnt remain the same. change breeds change.. and further changes clutter our precious. and our precious eventually gets lost in a crowd of unfamiliarity. we look here n there like a dumb, sometimes shout out to ourselves. we cry... for something is now missing... something that we so dearly wanted forever. we fumble in quicksand for something that we saw slipping down to obscurity, but could do nothing to stop it from getting out of sight.
we lose. change wins.
we change.
and then a new day comes. and more such days. we forget the precious, at least apparently, till one day when we are hit by a news, that the precious is no more.
that we've lost it forever.
it hardly makes any practical difference. we had lost it the very day it went out of sight forever. but deep down, there was a hope somewhere, that we might set things back, and we might regain things the way they were before. and this day, we lose the last hope.
the precious is lost. its okay now. i dont have to worry about getting it back anymore.
i'm not gonna get it back again.
never.
(unless, we die to live another day)
[dedicated to a precious friend who is going far away, sooner than i expected]
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