reality check

how far can my sight go?
even the earth bends down at the horizon
but i dont care,
it isn't opaque for me,
this crust of silicon, iron, carbon.

they think my voice won't reach too high
'cause the air thins out beyond a height.
huh.. i pity their assumptions,
'cause when i scream
it lances through the vacuums.

they apply science to my mind,
civics to my decisions.
they measure my aggression,
count my anger,
weigh my obsession.
they analyse my necessities...
my survival being their concern,
or threat, to be precise.

people
were vestigial.
and i was insane.
but it's time for reality check.
the facts are no longer same.
they may choose to be where
they were.
but, this world,
i swear,
can't bring me down again.

Translate

i stand here, to speak of myself, to a crowd deaf to their own voice. i stand here to speak for a purpose thats not mine. i raise my eyes to look at their numb faces. they sit silent, physically and mentally.

i am not here to deliver data. my name, height, weight or hobbies are not your corcern. i am not here to entertain, but the world is a stage where we perform. they weep, they laugh, they live, they love, or they don't. i stand at a distance and enjoy.

i stand amidst a human mob, i run against it, around it, but not with it.

i believe in angels, but i dine wih the daemons. i race with the devil from the gates of heaven to the gates of hell, but i enter none. i make love to nature day and night, it's my privilege.

i walk out, i make friends with darkness. and i come to light to speak to a crowd thats blind, they dont look beyond they see.

Scribble

I look for words,
Words that would guarantee me an expression of the sane.
But in vain.
For my thoughts have a language of their own
To no one else which is known.

But I scribble,
An attempt to prove, rather a pretence of it, that I am simple.
That my life doesn’t cast on my forehead a wrinkle.

Am I lost?
How much, to be happy, does it cost?
I don’t know,
I wonder if anyone does.
Although,
The world sells dreams, and creates a buzz.

Tcha tcha…I blame people for not knowing what they have got.
Things that I have not.
But when I fish into myself,
I find
A gift,
That I hadn’t known for years I had
Right inside my mind.

Who do I call a fool? I am one.
For I was tempted to believe that some wrongs can’t be undone.

Love exists,
(Oh no… I didn’t want it to turn all mush…
but listen…)
Why do we run for it? What’s the rush?
Take your time, don’t jump into anything,
Or jump out of it.
But yes, sometimes you need to create a noise,
Need to shout a bit.
At times you need to think… what you’re holding on to
And what you’re letting go.
To what you’re saying “yes”, to what you’re saying “no”.
Take your time…you have a choice, and the right to show.

Energy... never born, never dead

it just changes the form...

but it stays.. eternal, forever.
in the smallest of cells...
in the biggest of blocks.

its deep within, its never lost.
it radiates, for those who can feel it.

it keeps warm... the one, who deserves it :)

...
burns those, who mess with it.

..

separation Zero

complete
and...
...vacant


calm
and...
...untamable


singleton
and...
...diverse


indivisible
and...
...compound


random
and...
...steady


irrational
and...
...methodical


afloat
and...
...deep


....simple and ...undecipherable.

resurrection

over two decades of existence
handpicked moments worth remembering

over half a dozen residences
but, happily, just one home

over ten thousand acquiantances
a few chosen friends

billions of thoughts
hundreds of actions

hundreds of failures
some success

thousands of lessons
a few learnings

millions of laughters
lots fake, few true

millions of tears
lots hidden, few shown

uncountable dreams
most broken, others yet to break

immense power
got burried, but emerging

free spirit
withered, hazed, but recovering

the soul
INTACT !!! and U N S T O P P A B L E ....

october

it would barely be above 20. the wind made it feel colder. the clouds stopped it from getting warmer. it was half past 1, but the sunday afternoon was blank. the day after diwali, some enthusiasts were still not over with the sulphur

a drop found its way to my notebook. the clouds were getting denser. thanks to the machines of time, or it would be impossible to figure out what time of the day it was, or what time of the year it was.

the patrol car passed by. what were they looking for? this was one of the quietest afternoon i have witnessed so far in this area over the last four months. i was halfway through my first paratha. i hurried, the second one was getting cold. and more droplets were finding their way to my table. the canopy above me wasnt dense enough. oh yes, autumn it was. they got to shed.

i stopped to hear the hum. a high flying plane. the hum was good. i liked it. unlike the deafening low flying planes that we hear once in every five minutes, or less. i wonder why was this plane flying so high, ignoring the IGI airport. whatever, none of my business.

i concentrated back on my business. i was already into the second paratha. it was cold by now., but nevermind, i couldnt have had anything better.

backstreet boys were playing somewhere. may be in one of the cars parked in front of the monestary...."show me the meaning of being lonely", a song from Millennium, which happened to be the first western album i bought. pushed me back into my schoolday memories. "show me the meaning of being lonely"... i wish i could show.

i pushed the last piece of paratha down my gut.
time to leave.
time to be lonely again.

un-MCP.... i wish

for all that we have done to women....
i dont feel proud of being a man.

tp

11:26...
i was beginning to get bored. was waiting for the call. it's been quite some time.
i didnt want to spend my sunday morning stuck to the 15 inch. theres a whole new world waiting out for me.

but no option. i have to wait for the call.
thought of dropping into the gym. its dusty and dilapitated, i know. and this is an air conditioned lab. ppl wud hate to go there giving this up, but i had something else on my mind.

yawn...
why am i even writing ? killing time i guess. the fat guy next to me is checking his application to Ciena India. i dont know what is that. i shudnt have peeked into his screen showing his open mailbox. but he was so close to the screen, i cudnt resist wondering what was he soooo engrossed in ? i guess he literally wanted to "enter" his mailbox :))

11:30... aah.. just four minutes have past. when i am with her, time just flies. and now that i am waiting for her call.... by jov... i am tempted to believe that my watch has got stuck.
11:31... GOD !!!

i am tired of orkutting.
album updated (with old pics), scraps replied, dozed and snoozed, ... ugh.. what more ?
i am logging off.

bye.

aorta

i am torn, and tattered and tired...
i'm beaten and strengthened and steeled.

i've learned to fail and i have failed to learn

i've been burnt n sloshed n crumbled to dust
i've been rebuilt from metals that oozed out of meteors
i've been soaked in the sands of the burning beach

i live in the split seconds of my blink
i move within my veins
i burn within my stomach all day
i bleed with every beat.


i live
i did, i will.